Showing posts with label FunnyOrDie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FunnyOrDie. Show all posts

Little Girl On A Plane

A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane. He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care or the economy when you don't know crap?"

Then she went back to reading her book.

Actual Australian Court Case

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.  
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.  
The man seemed more amused.  
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,
she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
  
The case came up in court. 
 
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)
what he had to say for himself.
The man replied,
'Well your Honor, it was like this:
when the lady got on the bus,
I couldn't help but notice her condition.  
She sat down under a sign that said,
'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. 
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.
  But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time
and sat under a sign that said,
'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!'
... I just lost it.' 
 
'CASE DISMISSED!!'

Will Ferrell meets the toughest cop in the world

Will Farrell Meets His LANDLORD

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